It Is A Privilege To Be Chosen

Today was a sad day. In a recent post I mentioned my friends losing their precious baby girl at 39 weeks into their pregnancy, and today was their sweet daughter Maddison's memorial service.

I felt fortunate to be able to attend, as my husband had a bizarre work schedule today, and there was to be an interim period of about an hour between his leaving for work and my return from the memorial service in Lynchburg, TN. A friend agreed at the end of last week to babysit for that hour, so all worked out well in that regard. (We don't leave our kids with babysitters, so this situation tells ya two things:
1. We trust that friend 2. It was an important occasion)

I don't deal well with death, and I typically don't do funerals. Yes, I did attend the funeral of Grandma Smith (Chris's grandmother) earlier this year, but that was because it was more of a celebration. I believe in celebrating the life we've shared with someone here on Earth as well as celebrating their eternity in Heaven with the Lord. Today's memorial, however, was not that kind of service. I think that many of us wanted to be positive and uplifting to support these sad parents who were saying good-bye to their daughter far too soon, but it wasn't something any of us were ready to "celebrate".

Those of us who are Christians may know some of the right words to say and scriptures to share for encouragement when someone suffers the loss of a loved one. But this??? There was nothing said or done that could make anyone understand it more. I fully believe that God has a plan for each and every one of His magnificent creations. I truly do. (Check out Jeremiah 29:11) I do NOT, however, always understand His plans. I believe that He chose Jeff and Melissa to be Maddie's parents. I believe He chose Maddie to be their daughter. I believe He knew the number of her days. But WHY he took her when He did??? That much I do NOT know. That much I do NOT understand. It was honestly one of the most gut-wrenching, heart-breaking situations I've ever been privy to.

My eyeballs hurt tonight from all the crying. I cried on the way to the service. I cried before, during, and after the service. It was a lovely service, and it was all the loveliness that had me bawling my eyes out. There was a slideshow set to music of beautiful photos of baby Maddie, curled up with a flower, being held and kissed by her parents, and some of her sweet little baby feet, too. Feet that her parents would never witness taking first steps. Having two children of my own at home, I felt so helpless and even guilty. I know that's insane, but what I mean is that I felt bad that I have these two wonderful, healthy kids that I am fortunate enough to see daily, and they won't have that with Maddison. What it comes down to is that I feel blessed, and I want that for Jeff and Melissa, too. If ever a little girl was loved, it's Maddison! I don't think I recall my friends ever mentioning fear or nervousness about their new adventure into becoming first-time parents. Just excitement--tons and tons of excitement. Jeff even got into a little trouble with his wife because he couldn't stop stocking Maddie's closet...he'd already bought something in size 2T, and had his eye on something as big as a 5T! They couldn't wait to meet her, yet she was taken from them before they had that chance. They take some comfort, though, in knowing their beautiful daughter (and yeah, she's completely beautiful!) went from the security of the womb to the security of Heaven.

Admittedly, I took selfish comfort in arriving home and having both my children run into my arms while I squeezed the giggles out of each of them! None of us knows the number of our days ~ As parents, we do not know the time we will have with our children. ~ But whether it's days, weeks, months, or years, I believe it is a privilege to be chosen. ~

Please pray for Jeff and Melissa

as they mourn, grieve, and slowly heal.